The Devil insisted on having the latest, baddest
bombs tested, but God wasn’t thrilled, so
Satan flew over to Heaven, smirking and hissing,
“You know that my army is much, much
larger than Yours, and You are opposing Me?”
God glared and said, “Hell, yes! Those bombs
are the worst, and you know it.” “So,”
Satan replied, “and whose fault is that? You
created Adam and Eve!” God sighed,
“You talk back too much. Go back to Hell.”
God retired and Angels sang Him to sleep.
Livid, the Devil went down to Hell, but soon
concocted a masterly, truly hellish plan.
He went over to see the smartest, scariest
scientists around and said, “Make me a bomb
that will blow up almighty God.” Even though
being roundly shocked, they went to work at
once. They’d always been secretly smitten
with Satan’s shenanigans anyway. After
splitting some newly discovered particles,
they called the Devil, “We did it.
Come on over. It’s all yours.” Satan didn’t wait long.
Overjoyed, he picked up ten bombs, just in
case; dashed in a flash to Heaven; snuck past
the Angels into God’s bedroom, and put a
bomb smack under His bed. God was taking a
nap. Satan snickered, “Sweet dreams,” and,
boom, blew up God! And everything blew up:
Creation, Heaven, Man, the Universe, All.
The only realm remaining was all hell.
Satan lit up, roaring with laughter, and cried,
“Ha, now I can finally play with bombs as long
as I please and bomb the hell out of Hell.”
And so he did. He dropped bomb after bomb
on Hell, blowing up mega zillions of souls.
At last, after killing everyone, he sat down on
one last, functional bomb in Hell and boomed,
“Now I’ll create, for I AM GOD!” And that did it:
the bomb blew up him! From that time on,
nothing, absolutely nothing remained… but
God woke up and said, “Do you see now what
I mean?” and started Creation one more time.
But Satan had an even more devilish plan.
God knew, and never,
never slept again.